Belts

First off, let me second Cas on congratulating Terrence and Helen. See Terrence, I told you Helen would forgive you for borrowing her prom dress to help me clean the dried red wine off my windows.

I've started collecting cool belts. I didn't mean for it to happen. I never decided to become a belt guy. It's really the dumbest thing to collect - I mean the only way anyone will ever know is if you become one of those tools who tuck their t-shirt into their belt to show it off. And I really don't want to be a tool.

But now I have a belt collection(A pretty kickin' one, too), mostly as a result of people who love me giving me belts as gifts. This is a dilemma of unprecedented proportions, and so my New Year's Resolution has been to hide in my bed until my belts grow old and ugly or global warming kicks in and I don't need to wear a shirt anymore.

Of course, then I'll need to hit the gym and buy one of these.

One last word on belts. There recently been a remarkable innovation in belt technology (I think the fact that there is still room for functional belt improvement after 8 milienia of civilisation is evidence that maybe we really did come from primordial ooze) Half of my belts, instead of sporting the traditional metal loop and prong closure have a much more convenient hook system. Unbuckling, which used to be a time consuming two handed manuevre, can now be accomplished with the simple flick of the thumb. If you think the few seconds this saves is inconsequential then you have never had a three hour meeting with the president of a multinational corporation after getting the extra spicy pad thai at the sketchy chinese place around the corner, and then had to make small talk about the new Michael Buble album before breaking the record for the 100 metre (8.97s) making your way to the little boys room.

And with that, I'll leave you.

-jon