Holiday Happening's
Most Favorite Christmas Gift:
Scene: Christmas Eve Dinner Party with relatives
Act 1 Scene 1: Enter Grandpa, sits down at kitchen beside Mike, who is busy small talking with uncle Gary.
Grandpa: 'So I saw that movie "Borat."'
Mike: 'Excuse me, what?'
Grandpa: .... 'Borat'
Mike: (unable to respond due to breath stopping fits of laughter)
Yes, by far the greatest Christmas gift this year was the discovery that my Grandfather --retired Police Chief of Hamilton Wentworth-- had taken my Grandmother to see the movie 'Borat.'
Second Most Favorite Christmas Gift:
Act 1 Scene 2: Grandma discovers that Grandpa has let the cat out of the bag.
Grandma (smiling bashfully): 'I was hoping he wasn't gonna tell anybody... it was disgusting'
And just when I thought I was beginning to compose myself.
Whatever posessed my Grandparents to see the movie I'll never know, but I'm sure glad they did. Merry Christmas to me, best two presents I got this year.... makes me laugh just writing this.
Holiday Happening 1: Shaving Chest
I shaved my chest. It was an accident - I was only trying to shave an 'M' into the chest hair between my (small) nipples but it turned out for the worst and so - everything had to go. Don't worry though... it'll be back in about 4-5 business days.
Holiday Happening 2: Shaving Head
The youthfulness I felt after seeing my chest bare after all these years inspired me to move the razor North (and only North for all those polluted minds). It was a bad idea, I look like 'Curious George.'
Holiday Happening 3: Beard Growing
Seeing Dave B.'s winter beard last year at the Third Space inspired me to try growing my very own. From December 21 - March 21... its nothin' but beard for this guy.
Holiday Happening 4: Brother's Engagement.
Yup, its true - one of my kin has found himself a life mate. I'm pretty happy for a variety of reasons.
a) My mother is baby crazy. Ever since my brothers and I have had the ability to procreate my mother has been patiently (sometimes not so patiently) waiting for us to get married so we can have babies of our own. (When I say of 'our own' what I mean is babies for my mother). Now that one of us is one step closer to babies, it takes the pressure off the rest of us. Here's to Josh, for takin' one for the team.
b) What was B?? Can't remember...
c) His fiancee (let's call her Chantal) is Dutch, and the Dutch are practically baby making machines - I'd say she's got at least four in her. Which means I should be eclipsed from my mothers watchful eyes for the next 7 - 10 years.
d) Did I mention my mother likes babies?
e) Chantal also manages a 'Subway.' Every time I visit she makes me a free sub of my choosing. Once I even felt bad for taking advantage of her kindness and so only ordered a 'Cold Cut Trio' (cheapest on the menu) but she would have none of it and upgraded my sub to something more delicious with bacon. I love her.
I probably shouldn't be disclosing this classified Subway information on a public space... but I don't think she reads this. At least I hope she doesn't... otherwise I won't get anymore free subs and my life will be ruined.
Anyway, welcome to the family Chantal, have lots of babies with my brother.
No really, lots.
Sincerely,
The Mike Horse.
Scene: Christmas Eve Dinner Party with relatives
Act 1 Scene 1: Enter Grandpa, sits down at kitchen beside Mike, who is busy small talking with uncle Gary.
Grandpa: 'So I saw that movie "Borat."'
Mike: 'Excuse me, what?'
Grandpa: .... 'Borat'
Mike: (unable to respond due to breath stopping fits of laughter)
Yes, by far the greatest Christmas gift this year was the discovery that my Grandfather --retired Police Chief of Hamilton Wentworth-- had taken my Grandmother to see the movie 'Borat.'
Second Most Favorite Christmas Gift:
Act 1 Scene 2: Grandma discovers that Grandpa has let the cat out of the bag.
Grandma (smiling bashfully): 'I was hoping he wasn't gonna tell anybody... it was disgusting'
And just when I thought I was beginning to compose myself.
Whatever posessed my Grandparents to see the movie I'll never know, but I'm sure glad they did. Merry Christmas to me, best two presents I got this year.... makes me laugh just writing this.
Holiday Happening 1: Shaving Chest
I shaved my chest. It was an accident - I was only trying to shave an 'M' into the chest hair between my (small) nipples but it turned out for the worst and so - everything had to go. Don't worry though... it'll be back in about 4-5 business days.
Holiday Happening 2: Shaving Head
The youthfulness I felt after seeing my chest bare after all these years inspired me to move the razor North (and only North for all those polluted minds). It was a bad idea, I look like 'Curious George.'
Holiday Happening 3: Beard Growing
Seeing Dave B.'s winter beard last year at the Third Space inspired me to try growing my very own. From December 21 - March 21... its nothin' but beard for this guy.
Holiday Happening 4: Brother's Engagement.
Yup, its true - one of my kin has found himself a life mate. I'm pretty happy for a variety of reasons.
a) My mother is baby crazy. Ever since my brothers and I have had the ability to procreate my mother has been patiently (sometimes not so patiently) waiting for us to get married so we can have babies of our own. (When I say of 'our own' what I mean is babies for my mother). Now that one of us is one step closer to babies, it takes the pressure off the rest of us. Here's to Josh, for takin' one for the team.
b) What was B?? Can't remember...
c) His fiancee (let's call her Chantal) is Dutch, and the Dutch are practically baby making machines - I'd say she's got at least four in her. Which means I should be eclipsed from my mothers watchful eyes for the next 7 - 10 years.
d) Did I mention my mother likes babies?
e) Chantal also manages a 'Subway.' Every time I visit she makes me a free sub of my choosing. Once I even felt bad for taking advantage of her kindness and so only ordered a 'Cold Cut Trio' (cheapest on the menu) but she would have none of it and upgraded my sub to something more delicious with bacon. I love her.
I probably shouldn't be disclosing this classified Subway information on a public space... but I don't think she reads this. At least I hope she doesn't... otherwise I won't get anymore free subs and my life will be ruined.
Anyway, welcome to the family Chantal, have lots of babies with my brother.
No really, lots.
Sincerely,
The Mike Horse.
posted by A Horse(wo)man at 8:16 PM
3 Comments:
i have a baby - they're really not that bad. kinda nice actually.
i'm also considering the head shave (chest, not so much)... wondering if you have any words of wisdom.
garry of next church
babies are pretty cool - and i hear you about being let off the hook. For the longest time I had two married siblings, but my parents still didn't have any grandbabies. My mom pined for them as well...until this Christmas. Her favourite present is the recent baby bonanza at our house. My sister and sister-in-law are both "with child" ...nutty, huh?
Let me go on the record as saying that I like babies too... a lot. One of my good friends has a 1 and a half year old daughter and I want to cry every time we hang out because she is so incredible.
I'm just not exactly ready for child rearing at this point in my life and hence the hesitant post.
Some words of wisdom for Gary. If you think you might look anything like a monkey with a shaved head... I suggest not doing it. However, if you think you might look like the guy from 'Prison Break', I would definately recommend the shaved look with a bit of scruff for the ladies.
I will always reccommend shaving the chest - it's so liberating.
That's about all the advice for today.
Enjoy.
Mike.
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