Stop... Die... Recussitate!
Welcome to a Stream of Conciousness to once again begin blogging as a serious part of my weekly routine. I don't know what happened before, but I have been doing some other writing as well as schoolwork, and plotting the end of the Ottawa Senators playoff run. I think that the plot of previous Pro Line commercials would work. Having the team owner force them to wear vintage equipment, squishing all the players on the bench with the collapse of the glass behind the boards, and a malfunctioning T-Shirt gun could cause quite a stir. I would aim for Daniel Alfredsson's face with a Carolina Hurricanes 2006 Stanley Cup Champions T-shirt while it was pinned by the collapsed glass, it would hopefully cause some pain without the long term stigma attached to permanent disfigurement. In order to continue the blog theme of Senator bashing I hereby decree that Mike shall soon pen the story of his childhood battles against a Young Ray Emery; Sworn Enemy of Hagersville. That should also be the title, or The Goalie Whose Mask Must Feature a Boxer Because He Likes to Fight, but Like a Girl. I would stick with the former.
Also, I have been toying with the idea of posting something about the time I've spent thinking about the following topic. I was flicking through channels the other day and came across professional wrestling, in all it's chauvinistic, macho, sweaty glory. I then thought about how it would be incredible to try and convince someone that the WWE was an excellent reflection of social interaction and relationships in the real world. I then decided it would be entertaining to take a well-meaning alien like ET to a WWE event as part of their education of typical everyday Earth life and then tell them its resemblance to wrestling was a joke. One might have to then explain what a joke is, and if their species is incapable of understanding humour it may result in the destruction of our planet, but at least due to a fantastic fake-out.
Here are a list of other humorous places to escort an extraterrestial if one hopes to lie to it about the nature of normal human life.
Also, I have been toying with the idea of posting something about the time I've spent thinking about the following topic. I was flicking through channels the other day and came across professional wrestling, in all it's chauvinistic, macho, sweaty glory. I then thought about how it would be incredible to try and convince someone that the WWE was an excellent reflection of social interaction and relationships in the real world. I then decided it would be entertaining to take a well-meaning alien like ET to a WWE event as part of their education of typical everyday Earth life and then tell them its resemblance to wrestling was a joke. One might have to then explain what a joke is, and if their species is incapable of understanding humour it may result in the destruction of our planet, but at least due to a fantastic fake-out.
Here are a list of other humorous places to escort an extraterrestial if one hopes to lie to it about the nature of normal human life.
- The Westminster Dog Show
- a Monster Truck Rally
- the set of a terrible sitcom, Two and a Half Men comes to mind
- the NFL Draft
- a conservative Christian youth conference
- a mall in mid December
- Garry's office
- a frat house
- an opera
- Ottawa, Ontario (dissed again!)
Well, this isn't an exhaustive list, so feel free to add your own items... if anyone still checks this sight with regularity.
Woot, Wott, Watt....
Matt
posted by A Horse(wo)man at 7:15 PM
3 Comments:
dude, i still check it sometimes. i'm glad you're back.
this ottawa bashing is next to unnecessary. Also, I have a quick question...perhaps a caveat is a better term: Only take an alien to the NFL draft if you "like" him/her. Everyone knows it is the most romantic place on earth. You wouldn't want the alien getting the wrong idea if you didn't have 'intentions'.
happy morning,
C
what's the deal with my office?
Post a Comment
<< Home