People who are making my life more difficult
No 1. Nik Antropov.
I've hated you for a long time Antropov. Sure, you're no Aki Berg, but you're still a terrible waste of a 10th overall pick. When you got injured I was happy, becuase it meant players like Wellwood would get quality Sundin time, and it paid off. Then you got healthy and wormed your way back onto the top line. But you did something unexpected, you started scoring. This was tough for me to take because though I want the leafs to win, I didn't want it to be because of a talentless oaf like yourself. But then Saturday happend. On Saturday you carried the puck into the zone all by yourself, made a move, and fired a blazing wrister from the top of the circle. You impressed me. I haven't felt this emotionally conflicted since my favorite band ever - Sum 41 - invited me backstage the same day Avril Lavigne told me she would no longer be bothering to turn down my requests for a date because she'd found someone.
No. 2 An unnamed Friend
I have this friend, a good friend, a friend who has been close to me for years now, who I've seen once in the last five months despite spending most of that time in the same city as him. Every time I invite him out he is busy, which is bizarre because despite a charming personality he's never been the most social of individuals. I'm convinced its either illegal activity or a girl, but seeing as he's been known to shy away from both (or they from him - oh, burn!) I think the answer is behind mystery door number three: He's actually a very incompetent spy for the Kremlin and hasn't figured out that 1) the cold war is over and the USSR dissolved 2) waffles, quite simply, do not count as a complete meal, even with maple syrup.
No. 3 the creators of Lost.
Seriously guys. You're fall from glory has been more spectacular than Tom Cruise or Britney Spears, and I don't see a Pop Princess-esque coming for either you or shortstuff. I mean, I'm more emotionally invested in the plot twists of The Office than your once spectacularly addicting program. For shame.
No 4. Mikthew Gowington.
Seriously guys. I miss you. Though it is some solace that your names fit together so well you can't tell who the 'ing' is from in Gowington.
No 5. Jon Sinclair
Last week I bought a chicken schnitzel sandwich and an egg salad sandwich. I often buy two 'wiches and save one for 4:00 snack time. But I forgot to eat said egg salad sandwich. Next day at lunch there he was, sitting in my drawer. Without thinking I downed half. With thinking I paused before starting in on the second half, smelled it, and realized that unlike wine and episodes of Seinfeld, egg salad does not get better with age.
"Pastries and pomegrantes pontificate on postmodernity"
-JS
P.S. Listen to this great rap on Tetris. Songstowearpantsto has it going on.
I've hated you for a long time Antropov. Sure, you're no Aki Berg, but you're still a terrible waste of a 10th overall pick. When you got injured I was happy, becuase it meant players like Wellwood would get quality Sundin time, and it paid off. Then you got healthy and wormed your way back onto the top line. But you did something unexpected, you started scoring. This was tough for me to take because though I want the leafs to win, I didn't want it to be because of a talentless oaf like yourself. But then Saturday happend. On Saturday you carried the puck into the zone all by yourself, made a move, and fired a blazing wrister from the top of the circle. You impressed me. I haven't felt this emotionally conflicted since my favorite band ever - Sum 41 - invited me backstage the same day Avril Lavigne told me she would no longer be bothering to turn down my requests for a date because she'd found someone.
No. 2 An unnamed Friend
I have this friend, a good friend, a friend who has been close to me for years now, who I've seen once in the last five months despite spending most of that time in the same city as him. Every time I invite him out he is busy, which is bizarre because despite a charming personality he's never been the most social of individuals. I'm convinced its either illegal activity or a girl, but seeing as he's been known to shy away from both (or they from him - oh, burn!) I think the answer is behind mystery door number three: He's actually a very incompetent spy for the Kremlin and hasn't figured out that 1) the cold war is over and the USSR dissolved 2) waffles, quite simply, do not count as a complete meal, even with maple syrup.
No. 3 the creators of Lost.
Seriously guys. You're fall from glory has been more spectacular than Tom Cruise or Britney Spears, and I don't see a Pop Princess-esque coming for either you or shortstuff. I mean, I'm more emotionally invested in the plot twists of The Office than your once spectacularly addicting program. For shame.
No 4. Mikthew Gowington.
Seriously guys. I miss you. Though it is some solace that your names fit together so well you can't tell who the 'ing' is from in Gowington.
No 5. Jon Sinclair
Last week I bought a chicken schnitzel sandwich and an egg salad sandwich. I often buy two 'wiches and save one for 4:00 snack time. But I forgot to eat said egg salad sandwich. Next day at lunch there he was, sitting in my drawer. Without thinking I downed half. With thinking I paused before starting in on the second half, smelled it, and realized that unlike wine and episodes of Seinfeld, egg salad does not get better with age.
"Pastries and pomegrantes pontificate on postmodernity"
-JS
P.S. Listen to this great rap on Tetris. Songstowearpantsto has it going on.
posted by A Horse(wo)man at 12:53 AM
4 Comments:
jon! i was wondering where you were! that entry has lifted my spirits and then some! i will no longer post morose poetry! it's all exclamation marks, all the time for this "Cat"! ( - "t" + "s")!!!!
Thumbs up!
CCCCAAAAASSSSSSS!!!!!!
I've missed you too Jon, and with that look for a rousing entry coming later this week.
Matt
PS - You came up in conversation today in relation to a very revealing purple shirt, possibly worn last year to highlight your chest hair in a certain production. Just thought you should know...
this was a great waste of eight minutes of my before bedtime. keep up the good work camper...you and the young an drop an nov have moxy!
silly sally - i said the umbrella one was camper's! haha - a compliment well received in any case, im sure!
See you monday!
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