yay!...

I can't think of why this would need to be kept secret now that the cat's out of the proverbial bag, facebook-style, so this is my formal and public

"CONGRATULATIONS!!!!"

to Helen and Terrence on their recent engagement! I would assume that I speak for all the horsepeople of this blog when I say that we couldn't be happier for the two of you!

We are equally excited for the rumoured open bar that it is said you will be having at the reception. PARTY ON!!!!

(juuust kidding)

Good luck and God Bless, you crazy kids!

Cas

Things I Learned While Studying that Won't Help Me Pass My Exam

Thoughts from today; one spent cooped up inside my room, the only one home for most of the day, studying for exams. Lack of social contact causes me to lose my mind.

1) People With the Last Name Curry on the Oklahoma State Basketball Team Have Unique First Names

I've become accustomed to the fact that quite a large proportion of North American athletes have intriguing, non-traditional names. Some of my personal favourites are Lofa Tatupu, D'Brickashaw Ferguson, and the retired, yet all time greatest Zarley Zalapski. Then today I encountered an entire new kind of strange while reading some American college basketball news; one of the star players at Oklahoma St. U has the name JamesOn Curry. That's right, either his parents decided to take a pretty standard English name and add the word On to it, or they decided to randomly capitalize a letter in the name Jamieson, and spell it differently. Both these possibilities have interesting and humorous results when applied to the names of people I know;

For starters, the writers of this collective: MattOn, MikeOn, CasOn, or my favourite JonOn.

I then checked out the top 10 baby names in Canada: EmmaOn, EthanOn, EmilyOn, MatthewOn, SarahOn, JoshuaOn, MadisonOn, JacobOn, HannahOn, NicholasOn. After the innumerable nationwide audience of this post gets their hands on this material you'll be one of the first to have read the top 10 names of 2007. Yeah, adding "On" to people's names is the next big trend in baby names, and by that I mean the first big trend.

Now to just capitilize random letters: MattHew, MichAel, CatherIne, JoN, EmmA, EthAn, EmiLy, SarAh, JoshUa, MadisOn, JacOb, HannAh, NicholAS(S). I'd hate to be the kindergarten teacher the day MadisOn has to spell her name on the blackboard the first time, that would be a discussion brought up at the parent-teacher meetings.

2) Rerverseumcision Existed in Ancient Palestine, but not in the Dicitionary

I know, it's not a word right? But according to my New Testament textbook the process exists. Let me explain, my next exam is on the New Testament course I am currently taking and one important concept is the Hellinistic society that allowed Christianity to take root. In said society it was common to assimilite native cultures and infuse them with Greek tradition, religion, recreation, etc. In most areas of Palestine these change were met with anger and disgust, but in others... "Some of the Jews living in Palestine welcomed those innovations. Indeed, some men were enthused enough to undergo surgery to remove the marks of circumcision, allowing them to exercise in the Jerusalem gymnasium without being recognized as Jewish."

This idea blows my mind.

I have no idea how that "surgery" would work.

Therefore, I'll leave it up to your imagination because there's no need to for the concept to be fleshed out. *cymbal crash*

3) There Are Parts of My Body I'm Not Good at Touching with My Tongue

Remember when you were a kid and you learned that you couldn't lick your elbow? I think today I figured out how the first guy to come up with this earth-shattering idea stumbled upon the discovery - I don't think he wanted to waste any of his Astro Fat Free Mixed Berry yogurt either. I usually don't try to pass things to my mouth via my funny bone, but sometimes accidents happen, and this one caused me to spend several vain seconds holding on to the hope that I could somehow break an anatomical impossibility. Flip, maybe next time...

Somewhat More Enlightened,

Matt

Joyeux Noel...

Well, I know I said I would share my most embarassing story with everyone in my last entry, but I hope you will all forgive if I share something just a little bit different instead. I promise I will loose the ridiculous ramblings of my silly self, soon.

Yesterday was the 5th anniversary of the death of someone special. While he was alive, I was fortunate enough to be close to him for over a year. 5 years seems like a long time, and at the same time (as cliche as it sounds) not very long at all. As a result of this contradiction-in-terms, I am usually thrown into a contradiction-in-feelings, when December 17th happens around. The hurt associated with it has lessened as the years go by, but certain memories - what I was doing; where I was when I found out; the look on my mom's face having to tell me - remain all too clear.

This year, I wasn't sure what was going to happen, or how I would feel. The night of the 16th was pretty rough, but I think it was a combination of having been pretty isolated for most of the time that I've been home, as well as wishing I could be in the company of all of those people that I hold nearest and dearest, instead of being alone inside my own head. Maybe I should have been listening to my ipod...

In any case, I got up yesterday morning and went to church, and though I didn't really feel up to sticking around for too long afterwards, the topic up for discussion during the sermon was all too appropriate. Chris was talking about Joy. As strange a connection as that may seem at first, I want you to stick with me.

We all know what kinds of images and definitions come to mind when we first think of the word 'Joy': that ecstatic exhuberance; the smile stretching from ear to ear; the I-Just-Won-Both-Showcases, Bob!!! sort of look. However, what came out of yesterday's conversation at church had more to do with something intrinsic in us. Something softer, less brash. Something not as finite as a perfect-present sort of glee. It was defined variously as 'anticipatory,' 'a Jesus gift,' and 'a choice, at times.' I liked all of these, but most of all I liked

'a quiet delight.'

Yesterday for me was not - and may never be - a time when ecstatic exhuberance enters into the picture. But, after being blessed to be a part of the conversation at church, I realised that I have a lot of things to be quietly delighted about - something made possible because of everything I've been through, not in spite of...

I've been by myself a lot in the last few days, but I've been hanging out in a great home that is warm, with no shortage of things to eat. I have the luxury of looking forward to seeing my family and friends when they are home, which all happens later this week. I have the time to replenish my mind and body after working hard at school - an opportunity I am also fortunate to have. And, I have been blessed with the capacity to love and be loved by someone else: A God assisted endeavour that 5 years ago, I might have told you was impossible...

Another element of Joy that was mentioned yesterday was Hope...and, at the risk of sounding a whole lot like a Hallmark card, I hope that joy will find everyone this Christmas; (as well as the 364 other days, this year) I hope it hugs them, sneaks up on them, feeds them, comforts them, surrounds them, and is with(in) them...

Cas

Why the Invention of the iPod has Saved Your Life.

The iPod is a magnificent invention.

I know I sound like some suburbanite yuppie, which I guess to some extent I am, but the truth is I'm trying not to buy or own things I don't need or use.

With that being said, I do own an iPod. I bought it before I moved to South America for the summer, justifying it's purchase by the belief that I couldn't survive life in another country if I didn't have my world of music to escape into from time to time. Turns out I was probably right.

Now that I've moved back I justify my iPod ownership through another means, 'the Podcast.' I'm a relative newcomer to the world of podcasting, but since the discovery, I've signed up for more podcasts than I could probably listen to in a year.
I love them for three reasons
-Most of them are free
-I'm an information junkie
-If not for music or talk radio I would otherwise be inside my head all day.

I'll expand on the last of the three points.

My job consists of staring at shingles all day. The only thing that separates me from the sky and the roof is my mind, and in it I play all day long. This is great for awhile, but if you've ever sat and stared at a wall for any length of time, you'll know the excitement usually doesn't last. In order to combat the boredom my co-workers and I (who all, coincidentally, happen to share the same mother) play games like, 'From which movie is this line from?' 'Remember the time?' 'Name that tune.' Most of the time however, we just go about the day on our respective side of the roof.

And that's why the iPod has saved you life.

You see, I'm not normally criminally minded nor do I wish any ill will upon anyone, but I'm pretty sure if I didn't have podcasting and music to guide my mind through the drudgery of staring at shingles all day, I probably would have plotted to kill most of the people I know. If you're reading this, that probably means you. Sorry.

But Hurray for iPods.

M Horse.

PS. Since its Christmas and I'm in the Spirit of recieving, I would like to end this post by requesting some podcast suggestions. First to recommend a podcast gets to twirl their fingers through my chesthair for 30 seconds. If that isn't incentive... I don't know what is.

Daughter, Water, Yachter....Teeter-Totter?

My housemates and I don't really watch TV all that often, but when we do the show rarely is anything other than sports, and certainly not a reality Pop Star program. Strangely however, part of yesterday evening ended up being spent enjoying (tolerating?) So You Think You Can Dance?

I thought the show was pretty dumb, but I did laugh at much of our ongoing commentary. At one point after watching a routine with lots of crazy lifts and throws somebody threw out this gem;

H-mate: Wow, that was made all the more impressive by the fact she wasn't the smallest of dancers; I mean, she could really hold her own on a teeter-totter.

Someone asked him where he came up with that beaut';

H-mate: Oh you know, I was thinking about it before I went to sleep last night and it made me laugh; good one huh?

I don't make this stuff up.

Matt

boy crazy...

So in procrastinating from doing the work I previously had piled on my proverbial plate, I watched a certain amount of television. In doing so, I saw many an ad for the new show on TBS called "My Boys." Upon watching a little bit of that show, and doing a certain amount of purely superficial contemplation, I realised that my life is exactly like that of PJ.

I too have "My Boys."

Over the last 5 or 6 years, it seems that I have cultivated many a friendship with members of the opposite sex, and most of them have managed to last. It's not uncommon for me to find myself in the presence of all/only males, and aside from being totally repulsed from time to time, I don't feel uncomfortable in the least.

This is all to say that I think that the creators of TBS's current hit modeled the show after my life...except that I am not a sports writer....and I don't live in Chicago....and my brother is 10 years older and not part of my immediate posse...aaaaand I love but don't LOVE sports, my name doesn't start with P or J and I have plenty of female friends as well.

...

I guess it's come down to the fact that I am less like the lead character than I thought, but really popular nonetheless. (like, really popular)

All in all, it's been a good day.

Cas

ps - tomorrow I'll tell you about my newly created most-embarassing-moment-ever...tonight, let's not spoil the good cheer...

Liam Neeson Breaks Things With Unfortunate Parts of Himself

In the midst of studying exams I often find ways to procrastinate that go so beyond practical that they become things I would never do if I didn't have four different exams to study for. Case and point; today I spent a good chunk of the afternoon reorganizing my closet, making root beer floats, and reading about Edward Norton. Then I came across this item, which I later related to my ridiculous housemate Taylor.

Me: I read the wildest thing today. Did you know that Liam Neeson, the guy who played Schindler in Schindler's List...

Taylor: (No response)

M: ... he was in Love Actually...

T: (still nothing)

M: uhh, he was that Qui-Gon guy in Star Wars...

T: Oh yeah yeah, Qui Gon, gotcha, what about him?

M: Did you know in the year 2000 he had to get his pelvis bolted together after a horrific motorcycle accident? Get this, he was driving around 60km/hr when a deer came galloping across the road and tried to jump over his bike, when it landed right on his pelvis, broke it, and killed the deer... Isn't that nuts?

T: (amidst laughter) Oh man, that's crazy.

M: Yeah I know.

T: (deadpan) So what you're saying is he broke a deer with his pelvis?

M: Oh shoot, yeah, he totally killed a deer with his pelvis.

After laughing for awhile at the absurdity of that conversation, I immediately made the connection as to why Neeson was later cast as famed sex researcher Alfred Kinsey in the biopic of the same name...

Yeah, I went there.

I'm here all week folks,

Matt

PS - I originally entitled this entry "Liam Neeson Breaks Things With His Groin", but thought the last word was a little over-the-top. So I checked Dictionary.com for some other options; here is the info for "pelvis"

Synonyms: abdomen, bay window*, beer belly*, breadbasket*, corporation*, front porch*, gut, insides, intestines, paunch, pelvis, pot*, pot belly*, solar plexus, spare tire*, tank, tummy, venter.
* = informal or slang

I might start reading the thesaurus for its comedic value, and so I can say things like "Wow, that vase, jeroboam, or reliquary, whichever you prefer, is lovely, beauteous, exquisite, and pulchritudinous."

prolifiwhat?...

Well, that's it for me. I'm home for the holidays and finished all of it. It was terrible.

However, it's interesting to note how short a memory I have, as the wretchedness of the entire experience is already fading from my consciousness. I have only vague recollections of the 12.5 hr day put in at the library, with the odd 6 or 7 hr campout at the JDUC sprinkled in for good measure. I am not sure whether it's the sense of accomplishment of having finished everything that is clouding my mind, or if I've simply retreated into mental fetal position so that my overused grey matter can begin to recuperate....tough to say...but it's obvious nonetheless as to why my poor habits of procrastination have yet to be broken....

Aaaaanyway, on to the point. My sincerest of apologies to everyone who has been waiting - nay, yearning - for me to write more. As mentioned above, it has been a busy time, but now that I am home I am making a solemn vow in front of all (threeish) of you that I will maintain a prolific status on this blog throughout the holidays. My prolificness...proliferocity...prolifi....?? will be unmatched!

Let me use this first writing opportunity to wish everyone who is not me, and not done - BONNE CHANCE! (I think that's french for "neener neener, I'm done and you are not") From my couch, in my sweatpants, I salute you!

Giver of Glad Tidings,

C

ps - jokes...seriously, to those with inordinate amounts of stress still with them - you have my
best!

A Splash of Irony

I had the pleasure of being a guest on our very own Catherine Ward's radio program recently (check out the Tuesday Indie Wakeup on the CFRC website) when I was struck by a particular news item. The former President and dictator of Chile, Augusto Pinochet, had passed away December 11 at the ripe old age of 91. What intrigued me however was a man responsible for the death and torture of hundreds of his countrymen during his reign passed away on International Human Rights Day. In other words, in commemeration of a day devoted to raising awareness for Human rights a famous politician, known for his disregard for human life, decided to die. If that isn't ironic I don't know what is.

This got me thinking about the somewhat morbid topic of ironic deaths. I remember when I was a kid I won a goldfish in a bag at one of those dinky elementary school carnivals; I probably threw a couple beanbags through a hole in a piece of cardboard or something. I realized once I got home that I had far more interesting things around the house than a tiny goldfish in a plastic bag and turned on the fish neglect switch. As you can imagine it wasn't long before the goldfish passed due to a lack of food, and I was left with a plastic bag full of water and a decaying pet. Naturally I flushed the fish down the toilet and didn't think much of it until later that week, when in the car a host on the radio was reminding listeners to be particularly kind to their furry, scaly, or aquatic friends, due to the fact it was National Pet Week. I had starved my only pet ever to death during the yearly seven-day period designated for appreciating it. Needless to say I was somewhat introspective and decided I was a horrible person; but after those five minutes had passed I changed the radio station and felt fine. In hindsight it probably would have been more ironic had the fish passed away from drowning, but I suppose that's impossible.

That evening decided to surf the internet to try and discover the most ironic death possible. The Darwin Awards are always interesting, but there were just so many stories so I moved on. Here are some of my favourites which I discovered later:

Attila the Hun:
One of the most notorious villains in history, Attila's army had conquered all of Asia by 450 AD-from Mongolia to the edge of the Russian Empire-by destroying villages and pillaging the countryside.
How he died: He got a nosebleed on his wedding night.
In 453 AD, Attila married a young girl named Ildico. Despite his reputation for ferocity on the battlefield, he tended to eat and drink lightly during large banquets. On his wedding night, however, he really cut loose, gorging himself on food and drink. Sometime during the night he suffered a nosebleed, but was too drunk to notice. He drowned in his own blood and was found dead the next morning.

Horace Wells:
Pioneered the use of anesthesia in the 1840s
How he died: Used anesthetics to commit suicide.
While experimenting with various gases during his anesthesia research, Wells became addicted to chloroform. In 1848 he was arrested for spraying two women with sulfuric acid. In a letter he wrote from jail, he blamed chloroform for his problems, claiming that he'd gotten high before the attack. Four days later he was found dead in his cell. He'd anaesthetized himself with chloroform and slashed open his thigh with a razor.

Jerome Irving Rodale:
Founding father of the organic food movement, creator of "Organic Farming and Gardening" magazine, and founder of Rodale Press, a major publishing corporation.
How he died: On the "Dick Cavett Show", while discussing the benefits of organic foods.
Rodale, who bragged "I'm going to live to be 100 unless I'm run down by a sugar-crazed taxi driver," was only 72 when he appeared on the "Dick Cavett Show" in January 1971. Part way through the interview, he dropped dead in his chair. Cause of death: heart attack. The show was never aired.

Jim Fixx:
Author of the best selling "Complete Book of Running," which started the jogging craze of the 1970s.
How he died: A heart attack....while jogging
Fixx was visiting Greensboro, Vermont when he walked out of his house and began jogging. He'd only gone a short distance when he had a massive coronary. His autopsy revealed that one of his coronary arteries was 99% clogged, another was 80% obstructed, and a third was 70% blocked....and that Fixx had had three other attacks in the weeks prior to his death.

Sincerest apologies if you find none of the above the least bit funny.

I'm a horrible person,

Matt

Stream Of Conciousness

I don't know if you've noticed, but I've been suffering through some serious blogging inconsistency the past while, a slump as they might say in professional circles, and therefore have been very rarely sharing thoughts. This wasn't always the case as I did at one point maintain my own private space, but I think this blogollective has had a negative effect on my motivation to write. Why share my musings when there is plenty oppurtunity for my friends to do so in the very same space? That's a good question, and you may be asking yourself the very same after reading this entry...

Well I've decided to make a change; consider this the start of a renewed commitment to my online audience. A chance to get back into my prime and seize back the fame and fortune I could once call my own as one of the self-proclaimed elite writers of this illiterate generation.

I think that last sentence got a little carried away.

I just write because it's relaxing and I enjoy it. I hope you do too.

I have a good friend Jer who innocently asked me last week in the cafeteria if there would ever be a situation where I would do cocaine. Pondering my answer I immediately realized that this conversation could get extremely awkward due to the prescence of a third party; a crazy girl who I've only met once before, but talked to long enough to realize she's wouldn't be afraid to jump all over me if I said something dumb. As I grabbed a brownie for dessert I mentally cycled through several situations, eventually deciding to share the least shameful one; that I would do coke in order to save my family from a deadly Cuban drug Cartel who forced me to do so in order to secure their freedom. Proud of myself for avoiding what could've been an embarassing situation I could only later laugh at Jer's response.

Jer: I was gonna say I would do coke in the middle of the Caribbean, on a yacht, off a supermodel's sweaty washboard abs.

Me: Oh. Oh yeah... That too. That one must have slipped my mind...

Awkward.

Matt - Substance Free and Somewhat Cool

A Hint...

As a hint of things to come...

I was watching a concert today on TV and had a thought...

Wouldn't it be hilarious if a professional concert conductor developed a wild twitch during the show? My hope would be whoever plays the tuba would assume it was an indication of the necessity for an impromptu ten minute solo, while spinning in only underwear.

Wild comedy would ensue, as it will when I add a full entry...

Matt