a new home...

Our good friend Alison has a new home at wordpress. It's no google relative, but it'll do ;)

She's a talented lady and a lovely writer. She sings too!

Her info has been updated to the right - check it out!

On behalf of all the horses - we love Alison!

C

Fear and Loathing in Hagersville

Do excuse my prolonged absence lady and gents. I was in the process of storing food for my long winter hibernation and got lost in the wild of living... but not living wildy... I'm not into that kind of thing.

Truth is, this cockeyed Canadian lifestyle was getting to me and I had to find some solace in Las Vegas for nine days. I can't say much about that vacation (Golden Rule of LV), but I will say that whoever thought of having a bikini contest involving a mechanical bull was a genius. I think I will put a mechanical bull in the living room of my house, and when I have guests over, we will have competitions.

Last night I went to a wedding with my partner in crime James Douglas Miller. His name tag said 'Michael Gowing's Guest', which I translated to meaning 'Michael Gowing's Property' ... so I forced him to shine my shoes and get me dancing partners (he's very good at that). When I would inevitably scare the girls away or offend them in some way, it was also his responsibility to apologize on behalf of me and my obscenities.

Cupcakes and chocolate fountains are what makes my world go round.

The M. Horse

Warning: the following contains potty humour

This is one of my favorite movie quotes of all time:

Sheriff of Rottingham: Sire, I have news!
Prince John: And what sort of news do you have? It's not bad news, is it? You know I can't take bad news. The day started out so good. I had a good night's sleep, I had a good B.M. I don't want to hear any bad news. So, what kind of news is it?
Sheriff of Rottingham: Well, to be perfectly frank, it's bad.

B.M. is such a funny word. And as far as I know this is the only time it has ever been used in comedy. I don't remember much from 1993, but I do remember thinking "Man, that's a funny word, that word should be used more often." I've been waiting 13 years.

Waiting is a tough thing to do. I've been waiting a lot recently. In fact the only reason I'm writing this post is because I'm waiting. Waiting. You know what was another funny movie? Old school.

-js

Francine Finds Frappucinos

Last night I became a member.

Membership is a weird thing. Joining a group of people can be scary. They might, oh just for example, forget your group for swaths of time at a ... time. One time I joined Margaret Laurence fan club because I thought some of the girls were cute. But then they all got enamoured with Pete Richardson in the Margaret Atwood fan club and switched loyalties. I spent three wednesday lunches alone with the well aged Ms. Mackenzie ("leatherpants Mackenzie" we called her. *shudder*) before admitting to myself they weren't coming back. Fie on you Pete Richardson.

Another time I joined the weaving club. I thought I was going to learn how to drive dangerously on the highway. I still have an impeccable driving record. Except for failing my driving test for going too slow. True story.

Seriously though, I think there just aren't enough clubs for people who want to compliment, date, or give money to me.

-jonovision

People who are making my life more difficult

No 1. Nik Antropov.

I've hated you for a long time Antropov. Sure, you're no Aki Berg, but you're still a terrible waste of a 10th overall pick. When you got injured I was happy, becuase it meant players like Wellwood would get quality Sundin time, and it paid off. Then you got healthy and wormed your way back onto the top line. But you did something unexpected, you started scoring. This was tough for me to take because though I want the leafs to win, I didn't want it to be because of a talentless oaf like yourself. But then Saturday happend. On Saturday you carried the puck into the zone all by yourself, made a move, and fired a blazing wrister from the top of the circle. You impressed me. I haven't felt this emotionally conflicted since my favorite band ever - Sum 41 - invited me backstage the same day Avril Lavigne told me she would no longer be bothering to turn down my requests for a date because she'd found someone.

No. 2 An unnamed Friend

I have this friend, a good friend, a friend who has been close to me for years now, who I've seen once in the last five months despite spending most of that time in the same city as him. Every time I invite him out he is busy, which is bizarre because despite a charming personality he's never been the most social of individuals. I'm convinced its either illegal activity or a girl, but seeing as he's been known to shy away from both (or they from him - oh, burn!) I think the answer is behind mystery door number three: He's actually a very incompetent spy for the Kremlin and hasn't figured out that 1) the cold war is over and the USSR dissolved 2) waffles, quite simply, do not count as a complete meal, even with maple syrup.

No. 3 the creators of Lost.

Seriously guys. You're fall from glory has been more spectacular than Tom Cruise or Britney Spears, and I don't see a Pop Princess-esque coming for either you or shortstuff. I mean, I'm more emotionally invested in the plot twists of The Office than your once spectacularly addicting program. For shame.

No 4. Mikthew Gowington.

Seriously guys. I miss you. Though it is some solace that your names fit together so well you can't tell who the 'ing' is from in Gowington.

No 5. Jon Sinclair

Last week I bought a chicken schnitzel sandwich and an egg salad sandwich. I often buy two 'wiches and save one for 4:00 snack time. But I forgot to eat said egg salad sandwich. Next day at lunch there he was, sitting in my drawer. Without thinking I downed half. With thinking I paused before starting in on the second half, smelled it, and realized that unlike wine and episodes of Seinfeld, egg salad does not get better with age.



"Pastries and pomegrantes pontificate on postmodernity"
-JS

P.S. Listen to this great rap on Tetris. Songstowearpantsto has it going on.

but, seriously...

ok, the realization has begun to really sink in: i have less than a month to get every piece of work that my first semester grades are based on, in to my profs. this translates into roughly 50+ pages of writing, filming/editing/putting up an interactive cooking website, and one more presentation. in the meantime, i am collaborating on a bunch of other things that are outside the scope of school marks, all of which are taking up considerable amounts of time. don't worry, i still manage to find time to waste watching reruns of friends, though. all is not lost.

so here i am: on the 4th floor of Stauffer library, trying to do research on how Foucauldian theory might link to modern day blogging...i'm feeling more than a little overwhelmed...and the secret's out - i'm terrible at coping with life when i feel overwhelmed. i stare out windows, and feel guilty of the time wasted; i feel further behind. i start to cry, but then realise that i don't have time to, and that's even more sad. i wish for hugs and warm blankets and my work to disappear...and i know that won't happen, and have some sort of inkling that somehow my character is in fact benefitting from all of the stress...but it doesn't make it any more pleasant, you know?

my break/tirade is over. i will go back to listening to The Kings of Convenience, and reading the Fibreculture Journal...here is a poem i wrote in 5 seconds, about 5 minutes ago.
hopefully i feel differently tomorrow.


it's coming down in thin, linear rivulets
out the window
the gravel and the pavement are wet
i wait for life
to stop escaping me
in the same manner.


The Pale Horse