Words fail me.

http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=-3382491587979249836&q=hasselhoff

except for the words "the" and "dopest"

haha. "well I ain't... YAAAAA!"

1800 Hasselhoff is the dopest. "Hasselhoff"

You should check out the site www.songstowearpantsto.com . He is my friend's brother who is now my friend and writes songs about whatever people want for a living. He wrote a song about david hasselhoff. You should check it out. I think I'm going to ask him to write one about this post. (N.B. Pale horse, I can't figure the heck out how to add to the links section. Do you mind throwing this precious pearl up there?)

A friend of mine made said something to me today. "I don't have any christian friends do introduce you to, but I do know a lot of HOT heathens". The first thing I thought of was hot (as in sexy) hearths, until I realized the hilarity of my unintentional pun and blacked out from humour overload.

Here's the thing about hot heathens(male of female). If you were to play hockey against them or sing them a song over the telephone their hotness wold be entirely inconsequential. Yet their heathenness could inspire them to stick their stick in that little space in your skate blade or set the phone down next to a stereo playing Stephen Harper & The California Raisins' 13th LP - Penulimate Skullduggery: The Death Metal years collection. Either would totally ruin the moment.

So you don't want the heathenness. Just the hotness. But stoves are just hot, and let me tell you, the sooner you learn not to touch the stove the better.

So I guess that leaves us with nothing. Which is where I was before the hot heathens. It would appear this has been an exercise in futility, but we all know appearances can be deceiving.

Musing In The Rain, Pt. Two

While I was walking to class the other day, in the rain yet again, I had a bit of a caniption. However, for this caniption to be as jarring to you as it was to me, I have to give the audience some background info.

- I am a pretty scrawny guy and I don't often win when wrestling, especially against other people.

With that in mind it came to my attention that I probably could beat up the guy who invented the umbrella, as well as the majority of guys who use umbrellas, despite the fact they are human beings with all their parts in working order.

My reasoning is as follows; any man who went to the lengths of inventing a tool to prevent himself from getting wet from a little rain must be a wuss. If this guy was afraid of the rain and getting wet then I probably would win in the fight's first thirty seconds. Now, when sharing this with my housemate who was walking down the street with me at the time, he offered the thought that umbrellas were first used to protect people from the sun, probably in a wussy country like France. Since this is an unconfirmed rumour, I can only comment on the possibility of it being true; but if that is the case I could take on the all the French guys who invented umbrellas because they were afraid of the sun with both my right limbs tied to a large tree.

Next time I'm out in the rain I'm going to yell things like "C'mon precipitation, bring it!", "Is that all you got?", and "I wish you were acid rain so I could at least feel like I was being tickled, you wussy atmospheric downpour!" as part of my training. And if anyone with an umbrella passes me they'll most likely cower in fear before I beat the lack of water from the rain right into them.

I also decided on the way home after seeing a guy walking in the rain with only a T-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops on that he was probably braver than I and could beat me up. That, or he's from a parallel universe where they wear rain gear in the sun and summer clothes during cold monsoons; Probably the latter, because ever since I started beating up umbrella toters I've gotten to be quite a tank.

In fact, I just tore numerous holes in my T-shirt typing this entry...

Matt

Only a Steel Man can be a Lover

I’m really glad Superman’s not a home-wrecker. I think I would have lost a lot of respect for him.

My brother Matt and I watched ‘Superman Returns’ last night at some back alley theater in Brampton with sticky floors and Christmas lights on the walls. It was only a 3$ cover so I’m not complaining. Plus I snuck in a ‘Jr Burger’ and a cup of ‘Great Biggie’ french fries from Wendies instead of paying 6 bucks for popcorn, so it made it all worthwhile …(but I ended up buying the popcorn anyway because I’m a sucker… as soon as it hits your nostrils, it just smells so good).

I thought Kevin Spacey was his usual amazing self as Lex Luther. I did find Brandon Routhe as Superman a little off at times; I think its because his face seemed digitally animated in every second shot. And possibly because he reminded me too much of Christopher Reeve. Despite this, however, I still thought it was marvelous.

I don’t remember Superman and Lois ever ‘consummating’ any kind of relationship though, and so was a little concerned at the super-boy twist in the plot, (I can’t have movies diverting from the original plot history). So, I asked my brother (who, when we were younger, was forced to watch all the Superman movies multiple times whenever it was my turn to pick the movie) about this after the show, and he confirmed that they actually did ‘do it’ in Superman II. Though he didn’t really understand what exactly they were doing, just that the bed looked really comfortable.

I guess I don’t mind if Superman has a bastard son, it’s just gonna take some getting used to… but the next Superman movie better not be a courtroom custody battle starring Richard Gere or I’ll be miffed.

Mike.

Rhyme Time!

Hey folks,

It's been awhile, and I have twenty minutes to spare, so I thought I'd just share a fun game with you I've been playing for a little while in my head (no girls allowed). It's called Rhyme Time and it's really simple, I just rhyme things that are prominently featured on this blog like...

Matt - Phat, Cat, Phat Cat,
Mike - Strike(-out), Tyke, Pike
Jon - Pawn, (smellyshoe-)Spawn, Bon-Bon
Cas - Bass, Pass, (boring-)Class
Ablogolypse - Fish, North Korea, Pint, Orange, Antidisestablishmentarianism

As you can see, I still need some improvement. But on a lighter note, I'm sorry if my conterparts are the slightest bit offended by this, but maybe you should consult with your parents on not choosing names that so conveniently rhyme with derogatory things (and this is the PG version).

All joking aside, I really enjoy sharing this spot with you three and am sorry that a lack of ideas resulted in my writing at your expense.

Still friends?

Matt

Pog on the blog

I found a pog in my closet yesterday. How does something of mine that I haven't seen or thought about in ten years, and have no emotional attachement to, survive more than a decade of storage and two moves? And it wasn't like I found my pogs, no, just the one. This pog, Jurassic Pog, has, unlike his namesake, survived pog extinction, kind of like the loch ness monster, which does really exist, btw, and now I don't know what to do with it. Or with all those commas. My first instinct was to frame it, but then I realized that I might be able to exploit this for my own romantic benefit.

You see, whenever something freakish from another era is discovered, the public goes nuts and tries to kill it. So the nerdy guy and the hot girl first hide it, then they convince the public of it's harmlessness. The public changes their mind, accepts the freakish creature, and the guy gets the girl. You may say this is what happens in the movies, not in reality, but I can't tell the difference.

Last night there was this girl at the bar in red heels who we kept referring to as dorothy. Turned out to be a mistake when I ended up talking to her later and went "So dorothy, what do you do" and she "No, its Kathryn. I'm student here at U of T." "Sorry. So Caitlyn, what are you studying?"

I'm so smooth I can use a dry slip n'slide.

Idea Sniper Strikes Again...

It seems that my idea sniping ways have indeed transferred from my individual blog, to this bloglective. However, upon reading this and this, I think you'll see why I found it necessary to re-post.

I am intrigued by TheStory...I have no idea if it's actually supposed to be one word, but it looks cool, so I'll go with yes. I am also so incredibly fortunate to be a part of the lives - to varying degrees - of the people that NC is speaking of. I am proud of the work that they do, and humbled that I have the opportunity to be a part of it. There is a home to be found at Next, and a family. There is an adventure taking place at Rustle, and a lot of movement. They are absolutely changing the world, and everyone is invited to be changed with them...

Thanks to them for that, thanks to God for sure, and thanks to NC for wanting to live it out loud in other places.

Cas

The Red Horse Burst Upon the Scene

Okay, I'm here! I'm here! What happened?

Alright, I'm sorry... I'm late. But I'm here, ready to blow your collective minds with Apocolyptic Blogmanship like only the Red Horse can.

How about a story?

So, I have a confession to make. I've been roofing for the past month. Yes, laugh it up, "Mike spent 5 years at university to become a roofer."

Roofing is how I put myself through those 5 years of university so I have no shame in saying it.

The truth is it's actually an alright job... I'm essentially working for myself, which means I'm my own boss, which means I can take holidays whenever I see fit.... like next month for example, when I'll be going to Las Vegas for 9 days (who's laughing now)..... AND, I can make enough money for that tummy tuck I've always wanted.

I've also been working with two of my brothers, which has been a lot o' good ol' fashion fun. We get along real well; the only yelling we do are Robert Goulet quotes (SNL style) from opposite sides of the roof.

Right, so this story doesn't have much of a point. Actually its not even much of a story... more of a confession. You get the point - I live at home, I've yet to use my education to do any meaningful work, I take extravagant holidays for no reason.

This is the life of the Red Horseman

Musing In The Rain

The other day when I was walking home from the gym I happened to spy the most peculiar thing at one street corner. Let me set the stage for this bizarre event by telling you that it was dull, dreary, and most importantly a very rainy day. As I stood waiting for the light of the intersection to change I glanced to my left and noticed that out front of a fairly large apartment building a man was standing and using a hose. Upon further inspection I noted several weird things about the situation. Here they are in order of weirdness, with an accompanying rating on the scale of 1 - Weird.

1. The guy was wearing only a small T-shirt in pouring rain - 1
2. The guy was using a super-extra-strength-double-decker hose - 2 point Strange
3. The guy was watering something with said hose in pouring rain - 5 and 1/2 Odd
4. The guy was not in fact watering anything organic or alive, but instead drenching a puddle in the middle of the asphalt - 8 dash Bizarre
5. The guy was watering a chunk of pavement, and mostly a puddle for that matter, in POURING RAIN, with a gigantic hose while wearing only a T-shirt - 10 decimal Mind-Blowingly Unbelievable

Rather than continue the journey home once my chance to cross the street came, I decided to remain at the corner for a little while to see if I could gain a little more understanding as to the point of this guy's endeavour. Alas, I learned nothing, except that toting a fire hose in a small T-shirt is a good way to pick up passing girls despite the fact the use of both items is straight up crazy; lesson learned.

I then spent some time on my walk home thinking of what some other pointless/weird things to do during a downpour would be. Here is a list:

• Wash a car, especially one that didn't belong to you
• Dry clothes on a clothesline, particularly if they were already dry
• Make a fire, extra points for not using gasoline, a lighter, or matches
• Sweat
• Wear sunglasses
• Have a competition with a friend to see who can stay dry longest outside
• Tan
• Build a sandcastle
• Try not to grow an entire army of Sea Monkeys
• Complain about how hot and sunny it is outside
• Write a treasure map revealing the location of millions of dollars using washable marker on toilet paper
• Wish aloud that the ongoing drought would stop

I can't wait to see what strange things I witness the next time it rains in Kingston, which will probably be about two minutes ago.

Matt, the guy who dislikes Lake Effect Precipitation... unless it's snow... in that case he's okay with it.